the audacity!

just when i thought that being at home means being safe from thieves: how wrong was i.

but it never crossed my mind that the people i trusted are the ones that are robbing us of the only source of income we have.

i know that this seems like a direct accusation but who could blame me? their actions doesn't seem to defend their honesty. like: going inside every time no one's around seems mighty shady to me; standing almost always near where the 'stash' is (not mentioning their eyes always swerve to where the said 'stash' is); those subconscious thoughts that leak out when you catch them in a situation they didn't foresee (in other words, when they panic); those stupid STUPID excuses just so they can come in.

i mean, who's stupid enough to ask if a certain person is there when you know that they KNOW where that person is.

they take things and 'forget' to tell us that they did.

you'll wonder why those laundry soaps disappear when you know that you had a whole pile just the night before (they're the only ones that use that certain brand).

REALLY! do they really think that we're THAT stupid?!

wait. how totally STUPID of me. of course, they think that we're that stupid. they're vain enough to think that they're super geniuses that mere mortals like us wouldn't even suspect.

the worst part is: they think that it wouldn't hurt us that much because we're much more well-off than them. well, we're not. if we were, i wouldn't be ranting about this.

i get stressed just thinking about it. while they're splurging our hard-earned cash on worthless luxuries, we're toiling hours away just so we can save for our tuition.

to those concerned: if you feel that what i've written here unjustly accuses you of crimes you didn't commit then, i'm sorry. in my defense, i'll say this to you: if you know that you aren't guilty of the things i just accused you with then that's reward enough. if you hadn't acted the way you did then it wouldn't have caused me to think the way i did.

sleep-talk?

i am... so much~

so much that i don't want to wake up anymore. the same problems. the same issues. the same drama.

life sucks. we all know that.

*sigh*
why am i even typing about this?
i don't know...

i don't even know what to write -i mean, type. Geez.
life sucks...
did i just say that?
i guess one more won't hurt.
life sucks. period. (period)

ugh! i'm being morose again.
well, everyone has those moments...

but, as they say, "if you hit rock-bottom, the only other way is up."
or something like that.
did someone actually say that?
don't know.
maybe i dreamed it.

oh, look.
i've (type)written a couple of lines already.
there's hope after all.
hope for what?
i don't know...

maybe i should change the title to "i don't know".
or, even shorter, "dnt knw".
ahahahahaha

the ramblings of a slightly-depressed more-than-tired person.

i won't delve on the subject about a certain yellow chicken.
i hope he's not swimming in dirty water now.
i hope not.
i really REALLY hope not.
if you want me to pray so that it won't happen, i'll gladly do it.

i wanna eat...
hmmm....
no cravings yet.
yet...

i can sleep in about 12 hours from now.
i have to go with my mother for our grocery.
then, there's a week's worth of laundry after that.
after i'm finished, i'll go do something i should've done HOURS ago...
sleep.

tips for guys 2

o-hooo~ catchy title. hehe... anyways... these are solely based upon my experiences and observations. you may or may not agree with them but i hope i can enlighten some of you in anyway. i've written some points on a piece of paper a week ago -but i lost it. so these are what i recall.

- if you see her anywhere you go, it's probably because of the so-called fate or that she wants you to think that it is

- she gives you gifts. even if the girl is very nice, some don't spend time giving -or making- a guy one. except when you're her close/best friend or someone REALLY close.

- when you talk to her -let's say inside a jeepney- she smiles even when she's not looking at you. the type that smiles even though there's nothing funny. it's coz of you, bro. haha

- she acts either extremely quiet or extremely hyper-active... just observe her when she's with her friends, you'd see the difference when you're around.

- she'd take classes in the same building you're in. if she can.



---- that's all i remember so far.

tips for guys

just had a thought: guys should reallt start reading shoujo manga. there's lots of ideas there on how to woo a girl. girls are suckers for those things... hahahaha. the idea is to be as sweet as possible.

last mid-march incident

last friday, i was doing overtime to make up for all those hours lounging instead of making my thesis works. judy came and spend her whole afternoon talking to me while i worked. france was beside me.

eventually -it's even more of an inevitability than an eventuality- our topic became about you-know( well, some of YOU know). specifically, the moment from mid-march this year.

i can still recall the sound of judy's frustrated voice as she told france her side of THAT story (it slipped my mind that i only told france the first part of it).

well, judy kept on saying, "sayanga jud adto, kar. ni-ingon bya jud mi nga nagcge syag lingi nimo. as in, tutuk jud cya! sayanga jud! aaaggghhhh... ngano wa man ka ni lingi?" (it was really a missed chance. we told you that he was staring at you the whole time. aaaggghhhh... why didn't you turn around?) or something like that.

the answer to her question: i was scared. as bella said,"i make the cowardly lion look like the terminator." well said. i'm exactly like that. it's only in my head that i can live through killing those annoying people. >:3

i have long forgotten about the what-ifs of that day. it's only now that i'm reminded. don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to forget; i just don't want to remember. it's just a reminder that i was given the chance to finally do something; openly offered. OPENLY. yet, i was stubborn, and afraid, to look back. literally.

there's never a day that i would wonder what would have happened if i did look back. but... it's my fault so i shouldn't dwell on it too much. it's my fault. my fault... sorry

*evil*

it's funny what people think i might do when they piss me off.. haha

last Wednesday it really occurred to me that they ARE intimidated by me. i was sanding my 3x4 box frame so i can finally start with my artworks. i was already in a bad mood (i banged my head hard in the jeepney earlier, hence the bump) and i was already racing against time.

while i was doing my sanding, my classmates did what they do best: make unnecessary loud noises.

usually, i get a bit irritated but don't pay any attention to them. but this time, i was on the verge of throwing what i was holding in my hand at them. i hesitated a fracture of a millisecond and just decided to just glare at them a bit. a TINY bit -didn't reach half a second.

what do you know, it shut them up pretty quickly. *evil laugh*

after that, there was silence. until after lunch, that is.

in a way, it's a good thing that they are intimidated by me. at least they won't annoy me as much as they do the others.

my melancholy

i'll start this tale like most; with a single character. i'll make it a girl(duh!) and call her Lin.

Lin likes puzzles so much that she'll make them for others. ask her a secret and she'd willingly divulge it. the catch is, she'd turn it into a kind of riddle that you might as well give up trying to solve it.

one time, she was sitting on a bench. it doesn't matter where and what kind of bench it is -it's a bench. she was sitting there doing something when someone called out to her, "Lin-seed" -yeah, like the one used in oil-painting.

she was surprised to see him but at times expected so. sometimes he is there, sometimes he's not. that's why Lin often sits there to find that tiny chance.

he smilingly sat beside her. she, in turn, smiled back. it had been so long since they last sat side by side. like there's nowhere else to sit.

"long time no see," he broke the silence.
"yeah, why're you here anyway?" she said in a too-casual tone.
"the same reason you are."
"and how'd you know what my reason is?" she tell that he's answer would be, "co'z i'm psychic."
and so he did.
"that's because i'm psychic."

he likes giving her a hard time with his own kind of cryptic riddles. she could only guess what he's going to say - but it's harder to know if he meant what he said or not.

"so, what are you doing here?" he said.
"i thought you knew," she rebuked. but she answered nonetheless, "i'm waiting for a miracle to happen." those times she spent sitting on that bench gave her that ready answer.
"and what would that be?"
there was a brief pause.
"that a friend might decide to fall," she said almost in whispers.
and then another, much longer, pause.
"for you?" he said.
this was unexpected. Lin didn't answer.
"how'd you know that THAT hadn't happen yet?"
she raised her head to look at him without his usual impish grin, but found a solemn smile in its place.

puzzle solved.