last friday, i was doing overtime to make up for all those hours lounging instead of making my thesis works. judy came and spend her whole afternoon talking to me while i worked. france was beside me.
eventually -it's even more of an inevitability than an eventuality- our topic became about you-know( well, some of YOU know). specifically, the moment from mid-march this year.
i can still recall the sound of judy's frustrated voice as she told france her side of THAT story (it slipped my mind that i only told france the first part of it).
well, judy kept on saying, "sayanga jud adto, kar. ni-ingon bya jud mi nga nagcge syag lingi nimo. as in, tutuk jud cya! sayanga jud! aaaggghhhh... ngano wa man ka ni lingi?" (it was really a missed chance. we told you that he was staring at you the whole time. aaaggghhhh... why didn't you turn around?) or something like that.
the answer to her question: i was scared. as bella said,"i make the cowardly lion look like the terminator." well said. i'm exactly like that. it's only in my head that i can live through killing those annoying people. >:3
i have long forgotten about the what-ifs of that day. it's only now that i'm reminded. don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to forget; i just don't want to remember. it's just a reminder that i was given the chance to finally do something; openly offered. OPENLY. yet, i was stubborn, and afraid, to look back. literally.
there's never a day that i would wonder what would have happened if i did look back. but... it's my fault so i shouldn't dwell on it too much. it's my fault. my fault... sorry
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