Friday, April 2, 2010

on being the eldest

It’s hard. All the more because life sucks as it is.
*sigh*

your parents (or in my case, parent) can't somehow understand the pressure you're in being the appointed role-model for your younger siblings.

I remember answering my mom's usual rant about being someone setting an example blahblah with "whoever told them to follow me?!"

That "role model" thing might be the reason why I stay far FAR away from leader roles -if I can help it. I can't handle everyone's scrutiny, people breathing down my neck and all those responsibility stuff.

It’s not that I'm not responsible. I AM. It’s just not that I don't want to be "responsible" for anybody else. It’s just another way for them to put the blame on me. I work better alone. And in case I’m pushed to go with other people, I prefer to work behind the lines.