A Letter

i know it's way past Valentine's Day but i'm going to write this anyway.

Dear "Keep It Short and Simple (K.I.S.S.)",

we haven't seen each other for more than two years now and as i can see, you finally found the so-called loved one you've been searching for and i still haven't. honestly, i want to smack you in the head for not choosing me but i'm willing to keep my word to stay out of your hair and even support you when that time came, so... i'll stop being such a psycho when it comes to you.

to quote one of my favorite books, Pride and Prejudice, "i cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. it is too long ago. i was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."

i never realized that i had come to admire that infectious smile you have or that sunny personality that does not seem to know the meaning of "worry". i still don't know if this is what people call as love or it just evolved into a very enduring infatuation --i don't even know the difference myself-- but the fact remains: as what Fitzwilliam Darcy professed to Elizabeth Bennet, "you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

ewww... i sound sooo like an obsessive stalker. hahahaha. since you've moved on, i guess it's also the right time for me to do so, as well. maybe it was the distance that drove us apart. or the lack of communication. or... it wasn't really there, for you, even from the start. even if you treated me just like one of you're friends, thank you. i will surely treasure the memories i have of you: the time you sat with me and asked why i was crying; those moments i felt that we had a whole world that only the two of us understood; those smiles of encouragement you gave when i was presenting in front of our class; for believing in my abilities; for sharing all your --sometimes corny-- jokes; for sharing your worry when you had a gash on your forehead; for patiently chatting with me when i was bored but you had a lot to do; and those times when you called out my name.

you may someday realize that you're the one i'm talking about here. you may, or may not, hate me afterwards but i will forever be your friend. count on me if you need to dump a body somewhere. i'll bring the shovels. ahahaha

someday, when we finally meet again, i hope you'll be as uplifting as you were two years ago. until then, farewell.

not your fan girl,
Karla